Friday, May 27, 2005

Things that have struck me recently

The floor, yesterday
Heel slipped on parquet flooring at an RNLI coffee morning. Camera in hand, strap not around neck, foot went from under me but the camera stayed held aloft.
I've got a shiner on my bum.

Strength of baby gates
A huge man was standing in his open doorway, behind a baby gate. He was built like a gorilla and I really don't think the gate was big enough to keep him behind bars.

Shoe repairs comparable with condoms
Offered in the local shoe shop:
Stilletoe, Rib, Thick Rib, Grip, Commando and Bowling

The local vicar looks rather nice with his hair short
He stuck his head out of a window and yelled "Scoop, be careful with that work of art", his bike, which I was moving out of the way of a picture shot. How on earth can he reach the ground with his feet when the seat is so high? Hah, he has long legs. My bike's sized for a 10 year old.

If you swim wearing goggles it has the sunglasses effect, people can't see your eyes and assume there's something bad going on behind the lens and keep out of your way. This is very good to lessen pool rage when people having just spent an hour standing around doing aquarobics continue to stand around for 15 mins talking to one another.
You just power up and at 'em and they shift, which saves kicking them. Accidentally, of course. no, really!
Reflective goggles are even better!
Male swimmer in reflective goggles scared the hell out of me 'til I found I was swimming just as fast so we faced it out each lap. In the end we had an underwater battle, my foot won, also accidentally, honestly, and he waited for me when he finished his lap to scowl.
However, as I surfaced he realised he knew me, and I him and I'd just kicked a local government councillor. I bet a lot of people would like to do that.


Anonymous boggymarsh said...

My nickname is bog
Can I comment on your blog
My mind boggles
When I read about your goggles
But when I heard the news
You put condoms on your shoes
Is it any wonder
That the earth moved (out from under)
And that is how you've come
To end up falling on your bum

Sat May 28, 01:16:00 am 2005  

Post a Comment

<< Home