Trust me, I'm a lorry driver

Had a good start to the morning with an assignment (sounds good, huh?) to photograph the author and photographer Simon Marsden. His work in black and white specialises in the fantastic and supernatural. Hey, have a look see: Simon Marsden He's awfa tall and I forget to take my little aliminium ladder in - well, never thought he was going to be so big - but he had one and when I'd finished trying to demolish his house (swung around and my bag swiped the ladder and it went went crashing down) we found a piccie or two we both liked. The first one had a couple of small statues on a top shelf over his head which I thought looked a bit like devilish horns and given the subject matter of his work was quite interesting. Almost like one of those pictures one should avoid taking, where people have plant pots growing out of the top of their heads. Finally settled on lighting a couple of candles, one statuette and some books on a shelf. I'd been asked for nice but a bit spooky, so did my best. He's VERY good at posing. Great. Then went outside and tried to avoid wrecking his wife's garden. He's usually asked to go over to the close by church but I settled on the garden and a wall hung stone figurine in the background. Only took 20mins and he said it was quite painless really. I was on a dealine and Friday, being one of our market days, I expected to have to hunt around for a parking space but managed, pretty quickly, to find one I thought I could squeeze into. Reversing in I bumped the kerb a little too soon and was just about to pull out a little forward when an unshaven guy started hammering on my passenger window. He was shouting at me and gesticulating. OH OH, nutter! "Go Back, Go Back." he shouted, windmilling his arms. "Where to???" I yelled back. "I'm hitting the kerb." I missed out my ejaculation there, being unsuitable for those of a sensitive nature. "Trust me, I'm a lorry driver," he said. Well, I know my little car and I know it's none too keen on reversing (maybe it's cos my legs are short?) and it has a tendency to stall, especially when I'm trying to make it mount a kerb with one wheel. It stalled. "You've stalled it!" The unshaven gnome said. "I know I've (ejaculation) stalled it." I said under my breath but gave him a sweet Julie smile. "Back, back, back!!!" he yelled at me. Jeez, it has been such a pleasant morning. Anyway we, me and my car, mounted the pavement, I pulled forward a little and the wheel bumped back down in the gutter and mission completed. He now came around to the driver's side and I pondered on whether it was safe to open my door. Well, I couldn't take my pictures even with the telescopic lens so out I got. "Look, you could park a bloody bus in there!" He yelled at me. I was beginnng to wish I could find a volume button on him. Then he invaded my personal space sufficient that I could smell alcohol, jutted his chin out at me and said, "You take care." Phewwwwwwwww. I was on a deadline but managed to get a quick piccie in of a Seniors Forum, held at the library, attended by local MP, Sir Peter Tapsell. Then I went shoppping, forgetting I was on deadline! There's a sale on at Millets This is my tent!! It's a bit bigger than it looks here! Gaily, who works over at the Newmarket a couple of nights a week, too, helped me pick it.I went scrambling inside to test it out and laid me down among the tents stored in there. Very nice, Gaily! It's a two person tent so there should be plenty of room for me and my rubbish! I did ponder on getting a sleeping bag too. The big ones seemed SO large. Well, I suppose if they're designed to accomodate a tall man (like Simon??) then it would be large for me! We found a kiddies mummy sleeping bag and kicking off my shoes I climbed inside, put the hood on my head and Gaily zipped me in and twizzled me around for the other sales staff to have a giggle. Cor it was hot in there and I though there's a zip opening from the bottom, too, it was on the right hand (leg) side so there's no way I could have got my left leg out (for those of you who remember my sleeping habits) NOTE TO NEW READERS ... there was an earlier post about me needing to put my left leg out, that's ALL I mean :) ) I was on a roll by now so dashed about looking at this and this and this but managed to limit myself cos I've once owned TONS of camping equpiment (including 'mummy's portable toilet' cos I didn't like walking to the loos on the French campsite once someone had pointed out to me that there were snakes on the site!) and if you have to spend half a day packing the car for just one person then the fun starts to go out of it, yes? I bought a kiddies camp chair - have you SEEN how tall I am?? The seat is about 9" off the ground, which is just the right height to sit and watch your little camp stove kettle (which I also bought) boiling or cooking your fry up. Then a torch which converts to a lamp. Neat! Probably only need to carry about 3 lbs of batteries! Whoops, deadline!!! Whooosh. Good, no parking ticket and zoomed home to upload piccies. Lovely sunny afternoon so decided to catch some rays while sorting chitties for account. There was a little breeze so I used the clothes pegs to keep the piles from flying away. I'm sure it would have been far less trouble doing the task indoors but topless chitty sorting is sorta different ;)