Sunday, June 05, 2005

Using your loaf


On my last job today, speaking to an acquaintance, he mentioned that he and his partner were going off on a cruise which took in, among other ports of call, Lisbon. It's their first cruise and to make it special he has ordered 'extra's' for his partner on a daily basis, champagne in bed, etc, sighhhhh. So it set me to thinking of warmer climes and time spent living in Portugal and I had a look through a few photographs. This one reminded me of something.
I had decided to start walking, daily, along a coastal path which had cars passing fairly frequently and depending on the time of day a number of walkers, too.
Houses petered out then there was an area of bushes, then just dunes, to the right, rocks and the sea to the left.
As I approached the bushy area one bright sunny morning, a guy suddenly walked out from behind a bush and exposed himself. To be honest, I didn't really look at the 'himself' bit, it was the lascivious look on his face which was scary!
I stood there shocked by the occurence more than anything. Then the man disappeared back into the bushes. I looked around me and saw two guys a little way behind and I asked if they spoke English. I explained what had happened and they said 'Ignore it!'
I asked if the guy exposed himself to THEM. "No, of course not!"
Ignore's all very easy for them to say.
I gave the walk a miss for a couple of days.
Naturally, on my next walk, I was wary as I approached the bush area. I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I stared ahead at the offending bush!
Before I even reached THAT bush the guy jumped out from another bush! I was so angry with him ... a little way off, across the road was a guy getting into his car. Pointing at the flasher but turning toward the car I yelled something or other but both the flasher and the driver ignored me. The flasher smiled and disappeared.
I thought something should be done so went down to the local police station, a small office in the town.
I explained to the policeman what had happened and described the guy, best I could.
"How tall was he?"
I stepped back to get the measure of the policeman, for comparison purposes and promptly fell out of the police station - maybe he didn't take me seriously?
The interview concluded with the policeman telling me to walk somewhere else.
Well, I'm a bit of a rottweiler at times and decided this was my walk and the flasher wasn't going to put me off it.
Gave it a few days again and off I went.
Approaching bushy area, now with my eye on TWO potential hiding places for the guy, of course he jumped out from behind a third bush.
This time I yelled at him: "Put that thing away, I don't want to see it."
Which he probably didn't understand. Well, he probably did, after all if I was red in the face with annoyance and shouting and not running toward him, I suspect he might have realised I wasn't asking for a closer view.
He disappeared and a couple of minutes later a police car drove by which I flagged down and explained what had happened.
They stopped near the bushes, looked out of the car window and drove on.
I decided to use my loaf.
Next morning I stopped my walk SHORT of the bushes and with a piece of chalk wrote on the pavement:
"Beware, man with penis in hand 100m ahead."
'Flasher' wasn't in my Portuguese dictionary.
I bought a bike and peddled like fury past the bushes in future.
A Portugese loaf Posted by Hello

9 Comments:

Blogger Nogbad said...

Brilliant :-)

Sun Jun 05, 11:24:00 pm 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Omigosh! I remember that story--and that picture of your "loaf" as well!

Mon Jun 06, 03:36:00 am 2005  
Blogger Buggles Balham High Road said...

I've followed you through from nogbad and he said you would make me laugh - and he was right. Pleased to 'meet' you. ;-)

Mon Jun 06, 11:01:00 am 2005  
Blogger Pykspeeks Rides Again said...

Hey Morning LI .. Thank you!!
It bemuses me, the things that happen and never fails to surprise ... it shouldn't by now!

Mon Jun 06, 11:21:00 am 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember that story also and who could forget the "loaf". Had to show that pic to hubby. He loved it.

Mon Jun 06, 03:40:00 pm 2005  
Blogger Pykspeeks Rides Again said...

That wasn't 'Woody', was it, chortle !!!!

Mon Jun 06, 11:01:00 pm 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Naw, that was Dale.

Wed Jun 08, 03:27:00 am 2005  
Blogger Pykspeeks Rides Again said...

What a wonderfully American name! Wasn't there a gorgeous actor called Dale something or other? For some reason I see a cowboy in my mind's eye??

Wed Jun 08, 08:30:00 am 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe Dale Robertson? He was a favorite of mine as a kid, and I think he did play cowboys mostly. The Dale in the post is Sheryl's hubby. She meant to click "other" when she posted but clicked "anonymous" instead. I need to be sure Cookie locates this blog of yours. She and Woody would love it!

Wed Jun 08, 05:31:00 pm 2005  

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