Thursday, June 23, 2005

Jules' Lincolnshire Show

Ladies at the Lincolnshire Show. We DO like our brollies - come sunshine, come rain! Posted by Hello

I visited the Lincolnshire Show today and my word was it hot! OK, I did arrive around noon but I was oiled up against burn and wearing an oversize golf visor for a bit of shade and quite honestly, three hours was enough for me.
There must have been over 400 exhibit stands. I was too mean to buy a £3 ($5?) brochure for such a short visit but managed to find my way to the Lincolnshire Life magazine stand, which probably only took ten minutes but was grateful for cool water to quaff when I got there!
I decided not to lug the whole camera kit around, too, too heavy, so filled my shorts pockets with spare batteries, pad and pen, some pennies in case I found something I fancied – ahhhh, which reminds me I bought some ‘Scottish tablet’, which is like a hard fudge and I’m just going to see if I can find it to nibble on, cos I’d forgotten about that until you reminded me! Mmmmmm, yummy!
It was actually difficult, despite there being thousands of people there, to take 8 interesting photographs! Doesn’t that sound silly? It’s not because people were being obstructive but for the most part they were either eating, or in the exhibition tents or just simply sitting. There was an equestrian event going on so I meandered around the main ring and tried to vary the photograph content.
Back at the mag’s site, later, their ‘official’ photographer meandered up and I was sooo glad to hear him say, in response to 'had he got lots of good photographs', that he’d found it really difficult to get half a dozen good ones!
Phewweeee, what a relief!
Of all the thousands of people there – and I was 25 miles off my ‘patch’ - one of the interesting groups, just from a distance turned out to have among its number the single guy I’d been placed next to at the Lion’s Dinner Dance, a couple of months back.
He stared at me and said; “I know you, oh yes I slept with you.”
That was his idea of wit.
Hell, the guy didn’t even ask for a dance let alone anything else!
Well, you don’t really say things like that to Pyk and get away with it.
My response?
“Hmmm, I don’t recognise you …. I must have kept the bag on your head!”
The guy rather fancied himself but the retort made his friends laugh so he just taunted more, when I started asking names to place with the photograph. He asked if I wanted telephone numbers, too, because he wasn’t going to give it. I told him to rest assured I didn’t want it!
I wonder what on earth I did to his ego simply sitting next to him at dinner that he felt he had to speak so?
Thirsty, I queued for a drink of freshly squeezed orange juice. The young man in front of me, aged about 17, I’d guess, wanted a bottle of orange … which sold for £2.50. (exorbitant prices!) but the lady explained there were no bottles left, only cups (£1.30). The boy said he wanted a bottle. Again, NO bottles, only cups. So he asked how much he’d have to pay for a two cups when he really wanted a bottle!
The lady became quite agitated and told the young man that if he didn’t want a drink …. And looked to serve me. I piped up that I’d like a cup, of course and especially since that’s all there was on offer it seemed to make sense!
My, did I get a look from that boy! He decided I was queue jumping and no-one likes a queue jumper!!!!
Anyway, a funnier incident was a body language one.
Taking the picture above, I put my specs on top of my head but when the visor got in the way, I whipped it off, not realising I’d whipped my specs off, too, took a step back and mangled an arm of the glasses! Damn, I only put in an insurance claim for specs this time last year! I didn’t want the insurance company to think it was going to become an annual event just to get a more fashionable pair!
There was such a variety of businesses at the show I decided there just HAD to be an optician!
I didn’t have a programme, did I? So I waylaid someone and having read 372 company names finally came to an optician! Yeahh.
Despite the map and orderliness on paper, it was a labyrinth to walk through but I finally found the optical place.
A guy and his gal were looking to buy sunspecs and while I waited for the optician to be summoned from elsewhere (he had absolutely STUNNINGLY white teeth, by the way) I watched the couple buy one pair of specs for the lady and then hmmm and ahhh about a pair for the guy.
He was a well set man, fashionable in the latest ‘inside out’ raggy look t-shirt.
After the optician had fixed my specs (thank you Lord!) The t-shirt man started haggling over the second pair of sunglasses. The optician didn’t want to give a discount (by the way I had offered to pay or make a donation to something but he just gave me his beautiful white smile and wouldn’t hear of it!)
So the two guys were facing off, albeit nicely.
T-shirt man tried again, saying he’s paid cash for the first pair, could he have a discount off the second pair, then he finished off his sentence and made the most extraordinary motions (I thought) of grabbing his ‘lunchbox’ with his right hand and then cupping each of his breasts, briefly, with a little knees bend added!!!
I wonder if he was aware that he did that? I wonder if he does it often?
Maybe it was a Masonic sign .. he got the discount!
Oh yes, there were some lovely cows with nice curly coats and they were very very clean … but why do they have to tether them heads inwards so as you walk down the row all you see is their bottoms????


Blogger ScaryCheri said...

"“Hmmm, I don’t recognise you …. I must have kept the bag on your head!”"...


Fri Jun 24, 01:29:00 am 2005  
Blogger Pelicanhellican said...

Isn't it great when you come up with an immediate response instead of three hours later when it's too late??? :)

Fri Jun 24, 08:29:00 am 2005  
Blogger Nogbad said...

"Repartee is what you think of on the bus on the way home" :-)

Fri Jun 24, 01:22:00 pm 2005  
Blogger ScaryCheri said...

I guess I'm a repartee queen then. :)

Fri Jun 24, 02:50:00 pm 2005  
Blogger Pelicanhellican said...

I wonder if my fingers operate faster than my tongue?
I think as fast but if on Instant Messenger I type the reply that comes into my head ... if IM, webcammed ... then turns to voice I reply hesitantly.
Zizz iz strange. No doubt Freud could have had a field day with me!

Fri Jun 24, 04:37:00 pm 2005  
Anonymous jodieak said...

I too would love to think that fast in response to such a cloddish comment. Yours is prize!

The body language signs are indeed mysterious; I must remember to try that when seeking a discount; I'll let you know if it helps ;-)

Sat Jun 25, 07:41:00 pm 2005  
Blogger Pelicanhellican said...

In the absence of a lunchbox you could always stuff a couple of pairs of socks, balled up, down your trousers??

Sat Jun 25, 08:04:00 pm 2005  
Anonymous SM said...

Re: tethering.
1. It's easier to shovel the s**t up when they are that way round.
2. The valuable bit of a cow is at the back - whether you plan to eat it or milk it. That's where the steak is carved from. So that's the bit the 'in crowd' want to look at. They don't care if it's got a cute face or not.

Wed Jun 29, 02:13:00 am 2005  
Blogger Pelicanhellican said...

Ahhhhh, all is explained! I didn't think there could possibly be a logical explanation, just thought it was as it was. Hmm, Pyk's imagination wasn't working very hard on THAT one! Thank you!
Those in the theatrical profession who take up the position of back end of the cow can now take heart that it's the very BEST part to play!

Wed Jun 29, 08:52:00 am 2005  
Anonymous sm said...

Now thereby hang several tales (tails?)! You will be pleased to know that Louth is to have it's very own panto cow (or maybe horse - I can't remember which) in "Beauty & The Beast" come Jan. And no - it won't be me inside - front or back. Should produce a good photo though.

Wed Jun 29, 10:03:00 am 2005  
Blogger Pelicanhellican said...

Are they looking for a beauty? Blush?
Oh ... OK :(

Wed Jun 29, 03:07:00 pm 2005  

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