Off the shoulder

Phewwwww, almost off the chest!! I bought a lovely black deep V neck (and back) soft velour-type woolly last week. It feels so wonderful to stroke it ... I sorta hoped someone might find me tactile enough to stroke, LOL. Anyway, I had a job this evening, which I'd diaried, for the local Lions and had a panic call at 7pm to check I was coming and inviting me to stay 'for a bite'. Now it struck me that this wasn't just an 'ordinary' presentation and I ought to pull the stops out a little so I jumped into one of my 'little black numbers', figure hugging trousers and this super woolly. It did slip a little off my shoulder but since I was running late I pulled a jacket on and dashed. I arrived to find the room choc-a-bloc. Not only were there Lions, district Lions plus the Louth Old Boys under 16A football team, which won a national football competition sponsored by the Lions, plus all the parents, aunties and grannies. When I took my jacket off the shoulders on the woolly began to slip and I spent the rest of the night oiking them up. I was chatting to Nigel Gay, he's a volunteer at the local theatre and we discussed plays, holidays etc and I would oik shoulders every now and again. By the end of my drink I was just fed up with doing it and the shoulders slipped down and down and down 'til it was decided OFF shoulder and damn near off chest. I looked at Nigel and grinned, which he returned: "Think it's time I went before I end up half naked!" Damn, think I'll have to wear a bra with it next time and pin the shoulders to the strap. Tch. Don't think my tum's too keen on white bread. Got some delicious buns but going swimming even a couple of hours after eating, the bread felt like a huge weight in my chest. I only did 26 lengths then hied me to the jacuzzi and found a nice strong jet to put my feet up against for a session of auto-reflexology. Finished off in the steam room. OH, I had 9 minutes in the sun cabin today. If I'm not going away next week (and I'm not, methinks) then at least I can appear to have by topping up my August tan. I asked the beautifican if a sun cabin was free and got a very strange look. "Sun bed you mean?" Well, I don't know what her bed looks like but if she goes to bed standing up with her arms up in the air on grab handles, then yes, it's a bed. Now, let me go see if the fridge is worth raiding. From memory .. it isn't !